Aligning Who You Are With What You Do

Everyone has probably heard about 6 degrees of separation: the idea that only 6 people separate one person from someone on the opposite side of the world. Well I am going to do something similar with some concepts and show how they all connect.

We are judged by what we do not what we think about doing. No one can read our minds and understand how kind we want to be, or what good deeds we think about doing. People only know what it is that we do or show. In essence what people see is who we actually are.

As I am preparing myself for entering the working world in the not so distant future, I have been reading a lot about personal branding and career advancement. What is interesting to me about the topic is the idea of formulating brand recognition for who I am. We want to be known for being good then we need to make sure that is the image we portray. Not unlike Nike, who we are means something. People who meet us, or see us, instantly form an opinion of us. We need to act how it is that we want people to see us. We can't expect them to think we are kind unless we do infact act kind.

I have discussed the topic of Individual Social Responsibility, the idea that, not unlike a corporation, we affect our environment and community and it is up to the individual to do their role to make the whole system better off. A person would take a concept such as human rights and incorporate it into their entire life. From making sure that the breakfast cereal they eat in the morning, to the car they drive to work, to the job they do once they get there, that all of these take into account basic human rights.

Dreams are another favorite topic of mine. If you are reading this blog you probably dream about changing the world in some way. We often say things like, "That would be a really good idea", or, "One day I will have to try that." However, rarely do people act on these intentions. For some reason the connection between a dream and real life has been disconnected. We separate the our two worlds into fantasy and reality and for some reason we decided that dreams fit into the world of fantasy rather than reality.

Effort and persistence are two very redeemable characteristics. They separate those people who accomplish great things from those that wish they could accomplish great things. We get in the habit of waiting for life to help us instead of helping ourselves. We give up on ourselves. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it but when we fail to go after our desires we are giving up on ourselves. We are convincing ourselves that we aren't worth it, or we are incapable of achieving it. Life requires effort if it is to be what we wish it to be. There are a few exceptions, people who are born with a gift that requires very little water to bloom, but they are the exception not the rule. Life also requires persistence. When we get knocked down we need to get back up. When we fail we need to continue trying. Great lives are defined by these qualities.

Goals allow us to plan. They make us sort out the steps we will need to take to accomplish whatever it is that we want to. They provide milestones to tell us we are on track, and to give us stars to shoot for. Thats what a goal is - a star in the sky - and when we get there we are able to realize that we can aim high and still succeed. Those that lack goals lack the will for something great.

Authenticity is truth. It is something that most people judge people on. Are you genuinely a good person or only pretending to be one. If you are not authentic then people will know. You can't pretend to be someone you are not because you are doing everyone a disservice. People are turned off by a fake. Be true to yourself and others will trust you. They will follow you.

All of these things are internal to us but they manifest outside of us. They are things that happen inside our mind, heart, and soul, but when present, are there for all to see. We need to align who it is that we want to be with what we do. We need to align who we are with what we do. To change the world, to live a life that most only dream of, we need to be the change. We need to internalize before we can start to externalize. Decide who you are and then how that fits in with what you want for your life - What you want for the world. We need to BE authentic, goal oriented, put in effort and persistence, and dream. We need to align our brand and our individual social responsibility with the world we want. Becoming the person that changes the world is a prerequisite for actually changing the world. It wont happen unless you are in fact representative of the world you want to create. You can't tell someone to be something and expect them to become it unless you model it. We want a better world but we have to be willing to be that better world. Everything is related, including who you are with the world you wish to see.

Make The Impossible Possible - Bill Strickland

I mentioned this book in a previous post or two before I even read it. The title was like an omen - maktub - it was like destiny. I can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt that this book is exactly what people NEED to read. It is truly that powerful.

Bill Strickland grew up in inner-city Pittsburgh. His story of triumph, taking his passion for making clay items into a multi million dollar job skills and arts training center, is a thing of beauty. It is remarkable because he knew his passion and he made it a truly successful enterprise. The center takes in convicts, homeless/near-homeless, kids from gangs, and overall those who are down on life, and turns them into successful graduates who are hired all over the city. They are able to escape lives that frankly were going nowhere and make successes of themselves. That was Bill's vision and he made it a reality.

He had no idea when he started that it would become what it has - and have such a remarkable future ahead. He did it with little experience, no money, and not quite even a college degree. But he was able to believe in himself and as a result help others do the same. He took his passion and made it into a source for others to craft a future for themselves. The center is called Manchester Bidwell and today it is being copied all over the continent. A friend of mine who works for a similar organization in Kitchener actually went down last week to see whether they could import some of the success to their organization.

I don't want to tell all there is to his story because I can't tell it nearly as well. You just need to read it for yourselves. I mean this in all sincerity, GET THIS BOOK!

Here is a link to Bill's website and about the book: Make the Impossible Possible

Valentines Day (a day late)

I wrote this one but neglected to post it in time. I thought I would share it anyways (a day late) since it may still be useful.

Growing up I never understood Valentines Day. When I was little we would all swap valentines cards with each other. Sometimes I would get lots, and other times not so many. I never cared much though, to me it was just another day. I had the odd crush when I was little but it never occupied much of my mind. I remember thinking, "shouldn't I show the people I love that I love them all the time?"

It is crazy to think we fabricated a day to celebrate love. Then again it wasn't until I was in love that I understood. I have a sad record when it comes to relationships. If I have one fatal flaw (although I certainly have many) it would be that I am a man with a huge heart and never anyone to share it with. However, a few years ago I was lucky enough to celebrate a Valentines Day with someone special (yes, that is right, I have only ever had one girlfriend on Valentines) and I figured out why it was so special. It was a moment you could both share that represented the two of you. While every other day of the year was about others and the travails of life, this day was about just the two of you.

I remember being so blissful. I loved her with all my heart and soul and I had an excuse to share it with her. Not that I needed it, in fact in hindsight I showed it far too much, but the day was fun. We didn't do much, I made her dinner and we watched a movie - things we did all the time - but something about marking the occasion made it special.

Unfortunately, right before we would celebrate a second Valentines Day together the relationship ended. I don't know that I will ever understand why, I suppose I am not meant to. My love for her didn't die, I was more in love with her the day it ended than I was when it began, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. The time we spent together was the happiest on memory and that Valentines Day was our day (on top of our anniversary). But it shows up on a calendar even. We continue to be friends and it makes me happy to know that she has found someone new who makes her happy.

Love needs to be celebrated - even when it is lost. It is the unique emotion that while doesn't make the world go round, it makes the ride worthwhile (that is a quote from someone but I am not sure who). Don't take any day with the love of your life for granted but make sure you don't dismiss the Hallmark/Hershey day because while it may seem cheesy it is a good cheesy. If you can't express yourself on the day when it is set aside for you to, then your not making the most of life or the most of the time you have. We are born with a fatal flaw and it is death (another quote that I don't know where came from), so take the time that you have with the people you love and take advantage of it. Coming from someone who doesn't currently have that opportunity believe me when I say that it is a bummer when it is gone.

The Ocean

Today marks the first day of reading week at my college. As I left class yesterday various people were in discussion about where they would be headed off to; the beaches of Mexico, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic. The ski hills of Northern Ontario, Montreal, and Vancouver. Some people, including myself, were staying home to catch up on life and soak up the rest this week will provide. In celebration of my lack of travels I thought I would share my ideal place to be.

My favorite place to be is near an ocean. It seems odd since I am not much for swimming or even most water sports. However, looking out at the vast body of water is awe inspiring. I feel like anything in the world is possible, like there are no walls or boundaries to stop anything from happening. I like to think that when I am looking out at the horizon, someone else on the opposite side is doing the same. We can't see each other, but in that moment we are sharing something truly magical.

The sound of the waves as they crash the beach, the smell of salt in the air, the sun beating down; it all warms my soul. I feel free, like my mind is limitless. When I breath I feel fresh and exhilarated. I let my feet sink into the wet sand and squeeze up between my toes. I let the water sweep up into me and I listen to the sounds of the birds chirping. It is all so beautiful. There is no other place where I feel this way.

If I could live on the ocean I would. To wake up to his feeling everyday would be my own piece of heaven. To sit on my deck with a fresh glass of orange juice and the daily paper, before the chaos of the day begins, and soak up this feeling would be nothing but inspiration. That would be my sweet spot. That would be home.

I think about it constantly; when will I get back? How long will I be able to stay? Who will I be with? I live for that moment. I wait for that moment. I live my life everyday to the fullest I can and I enjoy every second of it. Those moments though I feel transcended by. I escape to a place that is beyond the physical and exists in a place that is beyond explanation.

Where is your sweet spot?

Backlash on Paul

I have received a few comments regarding Paul Rusesabagina over the past couple of days. It would certainly appear he is a polarizing figure. While I don't want to discount the point of view of those that dislike him, I want to address this as best I can.

I can not, and will not, post others heresay on my blog. If someone wishes to leave a comment then they are welcome to, but if it is to be in opposition to something I say then I will require a name and email so that we may discuss the problem. I do not want to discount others differing opinions, I do however want people to stand by their remarks. I put my name behind my words and I ask that others do as well.

If something is fact then the writer of this fact should be mentioned. I received a couple of "articles" that did not have a author, just a general location from which it came. This does not, in my opinion, constitute truth. It is opinion, just as what is on here is my opinion. While the information provided was certainly intriguing it was by no means indicative of fact. From what I can tell the writers merely took the opposite point of view of what is on record and spun it as being the only point of view - the truth. Unfortunately, I do not know exactly what happened and I probably never will. I can however, read what is available, watch and listen to what is available, and form my opinion. This is what I did and this is what I wrote.

I strongly urge those that do not like my comments to start writing their own blogs. I think it is highly valuable for people to share their opinions in order for others to form their own. But I want you to ask yourselves this question: Do I know the truth or do I know my truth? If you believe that you have the only truth than I beg you to reconsider.

Not every hero is perfect, infact they are always flawed. I have not, nor would I ever, claim that Paul is the perfect man. The world is not always a pretty place and sometime we need to celebrate the idea of a man even more than we need to celebrate the real man. The Paul Rusesabagina that I am comfortable arguing over is the idea and until someone can provide overwhelming evidence that the man is all the things the idea is not I will continue to believe in him.

I have kept all your comments and they are not deleted. If you wish to send me your names and emails then we can start a dialogue. Until then I ask that you let me have my own opinions and I will do the same for you.

Meeting Paul Rusesabagina

I had the privilege of meeting Paul Rusesabagina today when he made a speech for my college. As an added bonus I was asked to say a few words to thank him for coming and for this I was given a seat beside him before he went on stage so that I could ask him a few questions. Afterwards, a few students and myself got to have lunch with him. The whole occasion was an amazing experience.

I wanted to post the few words I said in my thanks. So here they are:

"On behalf of the students here, as well as Humber College, we would like to thank you very much for joining us today and sharing your story Mr. Rusesabagina. Despite the title of your autobiography you are more than an ‘ordinary man’. You may be uncomfortable with being labeled a hero but what you did was beyond heroic.

In your autobiography you discuss the power of words and their role in the genocide. You say, “words are the most effective weapons of death in man’s arsenal. But they can also be powerful tools of life.” You used your words to save 1,268 people, but maybe just as importantly your sharing your words here today, and the many other speeches you do, will continue to impact the way we live our lives. Your words do have power and I am very honored that you shared them with us here today. Maybe WE can begin to reclaim those two words, “Never” , and, “Again”.

Paul, we here at Humber thank you once again, and might I add that there will always be a metaphorical banana beer here for you if and when you choose to return."

When I get a copy of the question and answer transcripts from the lunch I will post that as well. He was a very interesting man with a story that needs to be heard. "We have not yet learned from our past," he said, "and because of this we can not hope to change our future." It is on us, the people who wish to see a better future, to learn from the mistakes that have been made and do our best to rectify them for the sake of our collective future. Too much is at stake.

Learning to Dream

I have said it before, I am a dreamer. I see nothing wrong with this fact. Somewhere along the way, probably from years of not having dreams come true, we find that dreams are not achievable. As children we dream of being a fire fighter, a movie star, a world famous ballerina, or a cowboy, but as we grow older and it looks less and less likely that it will in fact come true, we give up dreaming. We push it off to the side, or we discount its realness, and we continue on with our days as if nothing is wrong.

The problem is there is something wrong. Deep inside where we forced our dreams to hide, they are waiting to burst out and waiting to be believed in once again. You see, achieving your dreams gives life its purpose. Accomplishing that which is difficult or impossible gives us gratification. It opens up our whole world to a new paradigm in which we see a world for what can be done and not what can't be done.

Dreams are not the result of the thoughts and fantasies of a child. Dreams are your brain telling you what you can accomplish if you believe in yourself enough. There is no impossible in this world. Learn to dream again, let yourself free, open up the flood gates and let yourself out.

Granted dreams take work. The nature of a dream is that it is out there in the distance. It is something that almost seems foreign to us because it has not yet entered our reality. It is still just a thought. This is where most of us give up. We don't take the next steps, we don't take action. Nothing in this world was ever done with out the hard work of someone. Making a dream become reality takes hard work and dedication. Most people are unwilling to commit to putting in the effort because they lack the belief in themselves to make things happen. They see all the obstacles and the hardships and they give up.

Dreams are funny though, despite our giving up on them they don't give up on us. They live on inside us just waiting for the day when you will learn to dream again. They wait deep inside you waiting for you to believe once again, as you did when you were a child. Let go of the inadequacies which you cling to and use as a gate to living the life you want. Open the door, invite your dreams to meet with reality, and if you put in the effort I guarantee the two will merry.