Valentines Day (a day late)

I wrote this one but neglected to post it in time. I thought I would share it anyways (a day late) since it may still be useful.

Growing up I never understood Valentines Day. When I was little we would all swap valentines cards with each other. Sometimes I would get lots, and other times not so many. I never cared much though, to me it was just another day. I had the odd crush when I was little but it never occupied much of my mind. I remember thinking, "shouldn't I show the people I love that I love them all the time?"

It is crazy to think we fabricated a day to celebrate love. Then again it wasn't until I was in love that I understood. I have a sad record when it comes to relationships. If I have one fatal flaw (although I certainly have many) it would be that I am a man with a huge heart and never anyone to share it with. However, a few years ago I was lucky enough to celebrate a Valentines Day with someone special (yes, that is right, I have only ever had one girlfriend on Valentines) and I figured out why it was so special. It was a moment you could both share that represented the two of you. While every other day of the year was about others and the travails of life, this day was about just the two of you.

I remember being so blissful. I loved her with all my heart and soul and I had an excuse to share it with her. Not that I needed it, in fact in hindsight I showed it far too much, but the day was fun. We didn't do much, I made her dinner and we watched a movie - things we did all the time - but something about marking the occasion made it special.

Unfortunately, right before we would celebrate a second Valentines Day together the relationship ended. I don't know that I will ever understand why, I suppose I am not meant to. My love for her didn't die, I was more in love with her the day it ended than I was when it began, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. The time we spent together was the happiest on memory and that Valentines Day was our day (on top of our anniversary). But it shows up on a calendar even. We continue to be friends and it makes me happy to know that she has found someone new who makes her happy.

Love needs to be celebrated - even when it is lost. It is the unique emotion that while doesn't make the world go round, it makes the ride worthwhile (that is a quote from someone but I am not sure who). Don't take any day with the love of your life for granted but make sure you don't dismiss the Hallmark/Hershey day because while it may seem cheesy it is a good cheesy. If you can't express yourself on the day when it is set aside for you to, then your not making the most of life or the most of the time you have. We are born with a fatal flaw and it is death (another quote that I don't know where came from), so take the time that you have with the people you love and take advantage of it. Coming from someone who doesn't currently have that opportunity believe me when I say that it is a bummer when it is gone.

The Ocean

Today marks the first day of reading week at my college. As I left class yesterday various people were in discussion about where they would be headed off to; the beaches of Mexico, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic. The ski hills of Northern Ontario, Montreal, and Vancouver. Some people, including myself, were staying home to catch up on life and soak up the rest this week will provide. In celebration of my lack of travels I thought I would share my ideal place to be.

My favorite place to be is near an ocean. It seems odd since I am not much for swimming or even most water sports. However, looking out at the vast body of water is awe inspiring. I feel like anything in the world is possible, like there are no walls or boundaries to stop anything from happening. I like to think that when I am looking out at the horizon, someone else on the opposite side is doing the same. We can't see each other, but in that moment we are sharing something truly magical.

The sound of the waves as they crash the beach, the smell of salt in the air, the sun beating down; it all warms my soul. I feel free, like my mind is limitless. When I breath I feel fresh and exhilarated. I let my feet sink into the wet sand and squeeze up between my toes. I let the water sweep up into me and I listen to the sounds of the birds chirping. It is all so beautiful. There is no other place where I feel this way.

If I could live on the ocean I would. To wake up to his feeling everyday would be my own piece of heaven. To sit on my deck with a fresh glass of orange juice and the daily paper, before the chaos of the day begins, and soak up this feeling would be nothing but inspiration. That would be my sweet spot. That would be home.

I think about it constantly; when will I get back? How long will I be able to stay? Who will I be with? I live for that moment. I wait for that moment. I live my life everyday to the fullest I can and I enjoy every second of it. Those moments though I feel transcended by. I escape to a place that is beyond the physical and exists in a place that is beyond explanation.

Where is your sweet spot?