Being Right or Being Happy

I started reading a new book, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, this week. I am only a couple of chapters in and I have found a couple of interesting things. While I don't agree with everything that is said in the book thus far, the author raises some thought provoking questions for me. In one part of the book, which if you have not read it it may sound a little abstract, he discusses how the role our ego plays in conflicts, including wars. At the risk of simplifying it too much, Eckhart refers to how instead of allowing ourselves the option that we are not the only holders of truth, we insist that we hold the only truth. We must be right, regardless of the implication, because our ego will not allow us to be wrong. For example, religion has lost track of the important role compassion plays, and instead each religion insists that it is the single truth. In doing so it causes conflict. The argument is that we force our point of view as being right at the cost of being happy. Without paraphrasing too much he says we would rather go to war for our beliefs than be happy knowing that we could possibly be wrong, or at least not the only one that is right.

I don't disagree with this assertion. I had a discussion today with two of my classmates, me on one side and them on the other. The discussion centered around mass media and essentially how awful it is here in North America and how ethically unjust it is (the argument centered around the television). I sat on the side saying that mass media is not to blame in and of itself, because people play a role in how awful it really is, and to say that television is bad/wrong, to me implies that we have no control over it. The point I am trying to make is that we both had a point of view and neither of us thought we were wrong. I believe we were both right, and I am willing to accept that they were right. While we certainly wouldn't go to war over such a silly discussion the fact that we were all open to listening to one another made the discussion enjoyable and challenging rather than frustrating.

Think about a time when you were on one side of an argument or discussion. Did you leave yourself open to the possibility that the opposition could be right? Or, did you stick to your guns to the point that instead of listening you became frustrated and stopped listening? This is an important shift in mentality that we all need to embrace. We need to open ourselves up to the idea that anyone can be right, we can all be right, all at the same time, even when all of us disagree. We don't need to 'win' an argument, we don't need to be on any side. What we need to do is listen and open up to a world of possibility. When we make this change we can be happy no matter what. We can allow others to be different without judgment, we can let others have their opinions without being angry.

If you want to change the world, if you want to make the environment you inhabit better, then let go of the necessity to be right. Open yourself up to others being right, even when it opposes your thoughts. We can all exist together, we don't need to group ourselves into the dichotomy of right and wrong, good and bad. The world is big enough for everyone to have their own faith, their own thoughts, their own feelings. Maybe it wont stop the next war from occurring, but it will make everyone happier knowing that they can speak to you without fear of judgment, with the realization that you are truly open to listening to them. That is a better world. That is a simple act that will make a big difference.